minion blogging at
merry widow 11-10-09 20:00
woo i got the baritone lead in psu's upcoming spring production of the merry widow. look out portland state there is a new baritone in town. i'm mainly happy becuase i figure i need to do at least one show before i graduate right? the downside though is that they don't pay like portland opera does.... yay being poor this spring!
Zombies!!!!!!! 11-10-08 18:20
So yeah it is freaking official now. We are doing an opera about zombies at PSU this summer. Student Opera At PSU (SOAP) will be presenting a world premire of Malestrom: A Zombie Opera in one act, written by two students at PSU. I am so freaking stoked because for one I mean heck it's freaking ZOMBIES!!!! and also I was one of the people that the writers approached to have a part written for. More info will be coming in the near future. If you are in the Portland area this summer I expect you all to come and see it. So yeah I get eaten alive. Come see it! ZOMBIES!!!!!!
new life 06-11-08 19:01
This week I leave my childhood behind. I start a new life. It's an odd thing finally moving out of the house you have been living in almost all of your life. I started life in Milwaukie and moved to another house in Milwaukie at age 6. This week marks my move to Portland. It also marks the begining of a new chapter in my life. This past year has been one for me that has pushed me to my limits physicaly and mentaly. At times I have watched myself colapse into a heap crying and at others I have wondered exactly how long I had been looking at the cealing. I have lost large tracks of time and it worries me to no end. This is all a result of loss and pain breaking me. It's really strange to not see two of the three people you have seen on a daily basis for some or all of your life suddenly vanish. Life gets put into perspective very very quickly. That is why I am looking at life differently now. I'm looking at all of the good things and focusing on what makes me happy. Honestly I am moving in with the best people. They make me so happy right now. Everything in this situation is perfect. Now that my summer is starting and school is over I can start to work on rebuilding my life. My summer is going to be spent working on shows and making bonds. Some bonds already made, I hope to make stronger. Maybe if I get less depressed I will look for a relationship. I'm not counting on anything though. Summer seems to be a good time to explore new things. I'm sure most will agree when I say now all I need is the sun to come out.
R.I.P. Samson 05-28-08 22:56
tonight i watched as samson was put to sleep.
perfect fit 05-15-08 10:43
so things are finally starting to turn the corner in my life. everything of late seems to be a perfect fit for me. my show is almost over and next week i am going to NY for a conference. it will be a very nice break. i'm spending more time with the wonderful people i am going to be moving in with come june. that situation keeps getting better and better. i think i am going to fit into the viemeister clan really well. spent yesterday afternoon with jena running through the fountain on the waterfront and laying in the grass. we found a piece of bacon in the grass, yeah kinda random. it was really the perfect afternoon and something i have needed for a long time. jena and i got some ice cream and then got a nice late diner when anna and leion got home. i had a great heart to heart with jena before i went to sleep. there really is no way for me to express how happy i am to be moving in with these people who are quickly becoming more than just friends. they are becoming family which is something that i need right now. this is going to be the best summer ever. oh and i forgot to mention that jena got attacked by a duck. it was the freaking funniest thing i have seen in a long time. she doesn't think so... yeah it's going to be a good summer :)
happy 04-28-08 22:52
at times it can be amazing how one little thing turns an otherwise horrible day into a great one. tonight i recieved some of the best news i have gotten in months. after waiting what seemed like an eternity(roughly over two weeks) to hear back from portland opera about next season i was begining to give up hope of being hired back for the chorus. i was thinking i didn't make it in because most of the other sections knew already who would be back and who wouldn't. tonight i turned my computer on and there was an email. the title simply read "Offer from Portland Opera". reading this i just about shit my pants. i am being hired on next year and not as an alternate like i thought i would be. this year i am an alternate in Aida. i am going to be hired on as a "temp regular" for La Traviata. i am soooo stoked because this means i am A) in a show next season B)making regular wages as opposed to alternate. 16$ an hour instead of about 12$ C) this leaves oppen the possibility of being in other shows next season as an alternate D) the email they sent me was so complimentry and gives me so much confidence in myself as a singer. yeah i think this is the happiest i have been since march 12th. my mind is in a totaly different place right now then it has been. the stars seem to be aligning just right for me now. this summer is going ot be really good for me going from fledermaus to traviata in august/sept. this does however mean that i will not be able to make my trip to hawaii happen but hey for this i am willing to make that sacrafice. ok now i am going to go celebrate by getting some much needed sleep. good night world. for once i am happy with myself.
empty room 04-04-08 22:07

i sit alone in this empty room thinking and reflecting on the past twenty one years. fourteen of those years were spent in this room. most of my childhood memories were made in this room. now this room is nothing more than a scar on my life. after tomarrow i will never step foot in it again. i look all around and my happy childhood memories fade away from me and give way to pain. most of them are getting farther and farther from me with each passing moment. one of my more recent memories of this room sticks out to me. two summers ago this room was as empty as it is now. we had cleared it out to get new carpets put in because after twelve years it needed it badly. during this time my father was staying at my mother’s so the place was left vacant. one of the nights i decided to take advantage of it and use the empty space. kai and liz came over to go hit the hot tub. they arrived a little late so we decided to skip it and finish off a bottle of jager and several beers. we turned on the radio and spent the rest of the night laying on the empty floor drinking and talking. it was a nice night. as i look around this room i realize that this will never happen again here. no more memories will be made here in this room. now as i sit here i realize that all there is left in this room is me and the ghosts. the ghosts of my childhood and of my father. it will never be the same again. a large part of me has died here with him and will never be seen again. just like this empty room. goodbye
thanks 03-19-08 10:42
i just want to say thanks to everyone that came yesterday and everyone who has sent me love over the past several days. i love you all and don’t know what i would do without you. last night after most everyone had left i finally slowed down and it started to hit me again. i ended up crying myself to sleep. this morning i woke to the sounds of my little niece cooking breakfast in the kitchen. she is the thing above all else that is keeping my going right now. her innocence and lack of understanding of whats happening keeps her running around smiling. at the same time though it’s one of the things that hurts the most. she won’t remember her grandfather. she won’t grow up knowing him. my grandfather died of a heart attack almost twenty years ago to the month. i was too you and don’t have any memories of him. i’m so afraid thats what will happen with peyton. she has already asked me once where grampa brydi(her nickname for him) is. how do i even answer that? right now i’m just avoiding her questions. everyone who was at my house yesterday saw her and how cute she is. it just pains me to think about it. anyway i am ranting so i should finish this up. thanks again to everyone. i owe you all great big hugs and maybe a trip to the bar.
memorial 03-15-08 14:24
this tuesday march 18th there will be a memorial at milwaukie lutheran church for my father. it will begin at 3pm and be followed by food and gathering at my house in the afternoon. if there is anyone who knew my father or just wants to pay respects please feel free to come to either. i will need all the love and support i can get on tuesday and for a long time to come. please feel free to call me 503-975-9023 if you need directions to my house. if i don’t pick up just leave a message and a number and i will get back to you. thank you for all the support. please excuse my being a nutcase for a while
Why? 03-13-08 17:21
last night i decided to stay at school for a concert and thought nothing of it. on my way home i called my mother and she seemed concerned that something might be wrong with my father. someone at church had seen an ambulance at his work earlier in the night and told my mother. maybe one of his clients had an issue we thought. just to make sure i called all of the area hospitals to find out if he had been admitted. the answer i recieved each time was no. that gave me some relief until i checked my home messages. among them were one from my uncle telling me to call my grandmother and then my grandmother. i could tell that something was wrong when i heard her voice. i arrived at my grandmothers around 9:45pm and was told the news that my father has passed away earlier in the evening. he was found in his office most likely killed by a heart attack. i still can’t even process this news. i’m a complete wreck. i need to wake up. i keep hoping that this nightmare will come to an end. today we went to the funeral parlor and i saw him, just lying there. i couldn’t stay in the room. just thinking about it now has tears coming to my eyes. what none of us realize until it is too late is that life makes its own choices. choices that we cannot control no matter how hard we try. my father was only 58 years old when he died. thats not old at all and that has me scared shitless. these next couple of weeks i am going to be pretty numb to everything. if i am snappy at anyone who is just trying to console me i am sorry. i don’t mean it. life is just not right for me right now. i really don’t know what to do. hopefully with time things will start to make sense again. i know it happens to everyone eventually but WHY?
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